Full of Joy

i really should be going to bed. i have to get up at 5. i know, the story of my life. it's really not that bad, i just hate mornings. i can't help it. anyway, i am all fired up about something. a friend of mine just made the comment that God doesn't really want her to be happy (if you're reading this...you already know my respsonse, it's just that i believe so passionately about this i have to get it out!). i know that i have believed that for so many years. my parents always told me i had a "pessimistic attitude", or a "fatalistic attitude" about God, but i continued on with that mindset anyway. they always taught me that God was good, loving, caring, etc. i just clung to my own conclusions. the wrong ones. i believed that whatever the hardest, most painful situation for me to chose was what God had planned. if i chose to "endure for Jesus" then God would be happy. NO NO NO!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! how awful, how horrible, how absolutely horr...

i am absolutely head over heals in love! yeah, that's right, I'M IN LOVE! God has given me a passion for the drums ever since 4th grade. i remember the exact situation when it hit me. and now, 14 years later, i am learning how to play the drums! finally! at last, my love has come along. :) so maybe my lonely days aren't over but i, none the less, i am in LOVE! i love the drums. i love learning how to play the drums. i love playing the drums. i just got back from my drum lesson for the week, and i am on fire. you know the song by DCB that says, "...you've set me on fire and i am burnin' alive with his breath in my lungs i am coming undone...you are my JOY...lalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." well, that's how i feel!! HE has set me on fire, and i am burnin' alive. HE has created me with this passion, and it's a way that we intimately bond and connect. me and my Father. it puts this fire in my heart and makes me want to dance for joy for my new found ...

"Just what is God trying to teach you?" ~Rick Moore

"The world is extremely interesting to a joyful soul." -Alexandra Stoddard ...and i have a joyful soul! I would not have been able to say that last week at this time, or any time for the past two years. I had been stuck in the prison of my own pain, anger, confusion, and bitterness. God rescued me, though. It was like my favorite show, at one point, "Prison Break". I was locked away behind closed doors of bitterness...and God said, "Enough! I want you to enjoy the world, the sun, My joy that I give". It's a different world to me now. My soul is free...and I will never be the same again!