Full of Joy

Thank you to those of you who have prayed for me as I’ve transitioned to a new Mom’s group. I am grateful for the outpouring of support on this decision, especially from my M2M girls. Two weeks ago today , I was incredibly nervous, as predicted, to drive across the neighborhood and walk into a house full of complete strangers. Many people have asked me why I was so nervous. I guess I only know my own personality, so it’s hard for me to fathom why anyone wouldn’t understand the nerves? Being shy by nature, but friendly by nurture (thank you Mom and Dad!), I think those who meet me (but don’t truly know me well) are surprised at my social anxieties. Simply put, I was nervous because this was a huge change, an unknown situation, with unknown people, with unknown outcomes, and I was dragging my kids right along with me. The night before I went to the new group, I didn’t sleep well. I tossed and turned. The next morning I got even more anxious and took those emotions out on Chuck....

Raise your hand if you've ever felt The Spirit nudging your heart towards something, but you were really hoping you wouldn't have to do it. I'm glad I can't look around and physically see you right now because I may very well be the only one with my hand up. Trust me, both of my hands are raised. For the last two and a half school years, I've been involved in a group called, "Mom to Mom" through my church. My particular small group is amazing. I have loved every leader I've had, and I love all the other girls at our table. We have grown together, cried out to God together, laughed together, cried together, partied together, had babies together, lost babies together, played with our kids together, and had some amazing breakfasts together. I had just signed up my kids for the child care a couple weeks ago, all ready to start the new year with my group. God had other ideas. Recently, I heard about a group of Moms/preschool kids in my new ...

You became my Honey Bun almost right away, but somewhere along the line that got chopped all the way down to "Bon" or "Bonni". Because your older two siblings are in Heaven, you are my actual first born son. The first born son has had a valuable role in a family all the way back to the Bible times. God has created you uniquely special, and He has great plans to use you for His Kingdom. Your name, Jase means "Healer". Not only has God used you to heal my heart after the loss of your siblings, but He will continue to use you to bring healing to those around you. Be tender with the hearts of people, my dear son. My daring boy. When you put your mind to something, there is NO stopping you. Your mind is filled with adventurous thoughts at every moment of the day, it seems. You want nothing more than to be outside, playing at the park, swimming at Becca's, riding your bike, or playing with the hose out back. Your energy never ceases. You love t...

It's nearly impossible to predict how and when Jesus will completely and abundantly refresh my soul. I feel as if my soul needs refreshing on a daily basis. But there comes a point in time where to the depth of me I am completely dry and worn weary. Mothering plus ministry life has a tendency to overwhelm me to the point of crazy, if I'm not careful.   Jesus watches over me so tenderly and knows exactly what I need, when I need it. Last weekend, I had the honor of attending a wedding shower in Northern VA (our home before we moved to PA) and decided to visit with some other friends while I was down there for a quick 30 hour trip. Every friend I visited with, every hug I received, every gift that was given, every conversation, every smile, every laugh, and every moment of prayer filled my heart until it was practically bursting with joy. Jesus is in His people.      My dear friend, Denise and I met years ago through a Bible study. We ended up doing several B...

Last weekend, Chuck and I spontaneously decided to take the kids on a little getaway. We’ve had a long, emotional, and tiring summer so we needed some time together alone as a family. On Thursday afternoon we headed down to VA where Chuck’s family has a house. A long car ride with two toddlers is NEVER enjoyable, but we finally rolled into town and stopped at one of our favorite dives- Cook Out. It’s cheap, it’s yummy, it’s NUT free, and oh yeah, it’s cheap! Dinner went rather smoothly and my heart was full as I looked around the table and saw all of us enjoying a dinner out. Chuck and I were extra joyful because it was the first restaurant Basye has been able to eat out at due to her allergies! Plus, Jase was doing amazingly well at potty-training and even announced to us during dinner he needed to go. Please don’t roll your eyes- this is a serious victory people! Our table of 4 was cheering and clapping and celebrating like it was Christmas when Jase got back from the restr...

Heavy heart. What is next? So much fear. Are my loved ones safe? Who will be targeted next? And why? Why so much hate? Why? Hate comes from anger. Anger comes from hurt.   Jesus came for the hurt. Jesus came to bring peace. Jesus came to fight for His children. All people. All. God is Love.     For God so loved every person. Every. Person. He gave His one son. His only son, Jesus. To die for every person. To pay the penalty for our sin. Our hate. Our bitterness. Our anger. Jesus paid it all.   Whoever believes this. Whoever. We will not die. We will live. Forever in Heaven. Because Jesus paid the price.   We don’t need to “just love”. We need the love of Jesus first. Then we love. With His love. Jesus is Love.  

Not long ago, I heard a story on GMA about a, “Mommy Blogger” who had earned up to $1,500 per post. She ended up quitting because she felt she had to portray a perfect image of her husband and kids at all times. I wouldn’t last long either if I had to pretend to be something I’m not. I’m a woman who is anxious, fearful, stressed out, angry, bitter, overwhelmed, impatient, quick to speak, slow to listen, slow to forgive, and easily irritated. I knit pick at my husband, yell at my toddlers, don’t read my Bible every day, spout off about people, worry incessantly when I’m afraid I’ve upset someone and I’m hateful, vengeful, manipulative, critical, and cranky. Like really cranky. There is no good in me, but I am living   a joyful life because of one reason. Jesus saved my soul. He died a gruesome death on the cross. He shed his pure and precious blood which paid the price I should have to pay. Yet, I do not have to pay- Jesus paid it ALL. I owe absolutely nothing. I deserve to die....