Full of Joy

Outside of the Holy Word of God, I’ve never been more moved, taught, or ignited by a book in my life. A few weeks ago, I sent that exact sentiment to Beth Moore via Twitter. I just about fainted with glee when I saw a text on my phone indicating BETH MOORE herself had actually replied to my Tweet. I was downstairs with the kids, letting our dog Jovie out when I saw it. I began jumping up and down with excitement, which the kids loved. Any chance they get to jump with Mama is a welcomed opportunity! My “Audacious” journey started back in early fall when God clearly led me to attend one of Beth’s simulcasts with the same title. I’ve already written about the powerful work God has done in me as a result of Beth’s message that day, but God’s work in me has boldly continued throughout the pages of her book. Beth writes in a way that makes me feel like she is sitting at Starbucks across the table speaking directly into my heart. She writes like she knows my deepest struggles, fears, an...

Congratulations to JULIA! I will be contacting you via email. Kristi's awesome new book is yours! THANK YOU to all who shared. Your comments were a great encouragement.

The tree keeps falling over. The dinner burns. The baby spits up on your new sweater. Finances are too tight to buy presents. Family can’t make it for the holiday. The neighbor you invited to church didn’t come. You miss the celebration due to sickness. The flight is canceled. That special present didn’t arrive in time. The weather isn’t cooperating. You’re stressed and yell at someone you love. Another car hits yours in the mall parking lot. There’s no bonus this year. That one person’s attitude is ruining Christmas (again). Memories of past holidays are painful. A loved one passes away. You’re spending another New Year’s Eve alone. Yet another year of unanswered prayer goes by. Life is disappointing. Hurt is real. It may be no big deal, but it is at the time, and it is to you. Most of the above list has happened to me. Disappointment is often my reality because my expectations are high. My self-appointments don’t materialize in the timing or way I imagined. I naïve...

Allow me to introduce you to my long-time friend, Kristi! I've known her since I was 10 years old, if you can believe that. When I first met her, my family had just moved half way across the country from Iowa- which we all loved. We hated moving to Pennsylvania. Kristi, on the other hand, was ecstatic to have us living in PA. She said to me, "Now the college (where my Dad got a new job) has the best speakers in the country!" (Also referring to her own Dad.) That actually sums Kristi up well- very positive, see's the bright side, extremely loyal, and is very passionate for the people and places she loves. In the pictures bellow Kristi is the one behind me, and Mandi is to the right. (Hi Mandi!) For the past couple of years Mandi, Kristi, and I have been able to hang out several times together even though we live very far apart. They both frequently visit their missions agency which is only about 30 minutes away from us. A very sweet thing for me. It's always a ...

When Christmas finally rolled around that year, Chuck, Jovie, and I headed up to my parent's. The babies we had lost were always fresh on my mind, especially since the second child would have been due- or already born by Christmas day. I don't remember much about that year, but I do remember two things. One, I was surrounded by love from our family. Two, a friend text and told me she was pregnant. I had been sitting at the dining room table, chatting away with family when I saw the text from my friend. ANOTHER friend getting pregnant made me feel like I had bricks in my stomach. My heart sank all the way down to my toes. I wanted to cry, but I didn't have anything left in me. I felt defeated. Hopeless. I'm sure I said the expected things like "Oh wow! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" (Gag.) But I honestly wasn't that happy for her. I just mourned my losses all the more. It was OK that I wasn't happy for her. I put myself on way too many...

Samuel is the son of my wonderful friends Nic and Jessi. Samuel has a brain disorder called ACC , but it's certainly not what defines him. What defines him is Jesus- who fearfully and wonderfully made him. That Christmas season he was three and a half. I started helping Jessi by driving Samuel to different therapies he was involved in so she didn’t have to drag her pregnant self, or baby girl out of the house multiple days a week. I didn’t realize at the time how God was using Samuel to fill me. Each day I spent with him, my heart fell more and more in love. On the days I picked Samuel up from school, I would anxiously wait in the car until I saw his teachers marching the class outside like little toddler ducklings. I’d get out of the car and walk to the edge of the side walk where we would meet. I’d be so excited for Samuel to look up, recognize me, and smile that infamously Samuel smile. Oh that smile! It would light up his whole face, all the way to his sweet...

Recently, in a group setting, a friend shared some seriously tough things she is dealing with. At the end of her story she said, “But it’ll all be OK.” Another woman in the group replied with, “Yay, but in the meantime…” I didn’t hear how she finished. My mind instantly started thinking about the first half of her sentence. When I’m going through tough stuff I often feel it’s necessary to wrap a nice bow on my circumstances, and tell everyone that “God is good” or “I know I’ll be stronger in the end” or “It’ll all be OK one day". In actuality, sometimes there’s a very long meantime . I See You As Andy Williams sings it best, “It’s the most wonderful time of year!” But not for everyone. I see you friend who is hurting. I see you friend who is struggling with anxiety, fear, and depression. I see you friend who desperately wants to conceive. I see you friend going through a miscarriage. I see you friend whose baby should have been in your arms this holiday season. I see you ...

Well, my plan was to pick a favorite response but that proved to be much harder than I had anticipated. I loved all of them. So, I did what anyone else would do. I let the internet decide for me. I pulled up a random generator, popped in everyone’s names, and the internet chose Bethany! Congratulations, Bethany! If you send your mailing address to hello@havenpaperie.com, I’ll get your cards in the mail to you. Thank you to everyone else who shared glimpses into your hearts. I was really touched by all of your answers. Have a wonderful holiday season! Heidi Hi All! It's Abigail here. Just wanted to say THANK YOU to Heidi for the beautiful post she wrote. I know many of us were inspired, touched, encouraged, and motivated to embrace who we are as women in Christ! Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. They were a joy to read! Please tune in again tomorrow for a new 3-week series I'll be writing called, "In the Meantime".