Full of Joy

Outside of the Holy Word of God, I’ve never been more moved, taught, or ignited by a book in my life. A few weeks ago, I sent that exact sentiment to Beth Moore via Twitter. I just about fainted with glee when I saw a text on my phone indicating BETH MOORE herself had actually replied to my Tweet. I was downstairs with the kids, letting our dog Jovie out when I saw it. I began jumping up and down with excitement, which the kids loved. Any chance they get to jump with Mama is a welcomed opportunity! My “Audacious” journey started back in early fall when God clearly led me to attend one of Beth’s simulcasts with the same title. I’ve already written about the powerful work God has done in me as a result of Beth’s message that day, but God’s work in me has boldly continued throughout the pages of her book. Beth writes in a way that makes me feel like she is sitting at Starbucks across the table speaking directly into my heart. She writes like she knows my deepest struggles, fears, an...

Congratulations to JULIA! I will be contacting you via email. Kristi's awesome new book is yours! THANK YOU to all who shared. Your comments were a great encouragement.

The tree keeps falling over. The dinner burns. The baby spits up on your new sweater. Finances are too tight to buy presents. Family can’t make it for the holiday. The neighbor you invited to church didn’t come. You miss the celebration due to sickness. The flight is canceled. That special present didn’t arrive in time. The weather isn’t cooperating. You’re stressed and yell at someone you love. Another car hits yours in the mall parking lot. There’s no bonus this year. That one person’s attitude is ruining Christmas (again). Memories of past holidays are painful. A loved one passes away. You’re spending another New Year’s Eve alone. Yet another year of unanswered prayer goes by. Life is disappointing. Hurt is real. It may be no big deal, but it is at the time, and it is to you. Most of the above list has happened to me. Disappointment is often my reality because my expectations are high. My self-appointments don’t materialize in the timing or way I imagined. I naïve...

Allow me to introduce you to my long-time friend, Kristi! I've known her since I was 10 years old, if you can believe that. When I first met her, my family had just moved half way across the country from Iowa- which we all loved. We hated moving to Pennsylvania. Kristi, on the other hand, was ecstatic to have us living in PA. She said to me, "Now the college (where my Dad got a new job) has the best speakers in the country!" (Also referring to her own Dad.) That actually sums Kristi up well- very positive, see's the bright side, extremely loyal, and is very passionate for the people and places she loves. In the pictures bellow Kristi is the one behind me, and Mandi is to the right. (Hi Mandi!) For the past couple of years Mandi, Kristi, and I have been able to hang out several times together even though we live very far apart. They both frequently visit their missions agency which is only about 30 minutes away from us. A very sweet thing for me. It's always a ...

When Christmas finally rolled around that year, Chuck, Jovie, and I headed up to my parent's. The babies we had lost were always fresh on my mind, especially since the second child would have been due- or already born by Christmas day. I don't remember much about that year, but I do remember two things. One, I was surrounded by love from our family. Two, a friend text and told me she was pregnant. I had been sitting at the dining room table, chatting away with family when I saw the text from my friend. ANOTHER friend getting pregnant made me feel like I had bricks in my stomach. My heart sank all the way down to my toes. I wanted to cry, but I didn't have anything left in me. I felt defeated. Hopeless. I'm sure I said the expected things like "Oh wow! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" (Gag.) But I honestly wasn't that happy for her. I just mourned my losses all the more. It was OK that I wasn't happy for her. I put myself on way too many...

Samuel is the son of my wonderful friends Nic and Jessi. Samuel has a brain disorder called ACC , but it's certainly not what defines him. What defines him is Jesus- who fearfully and wonderfully made him. That Christmas season he was three and a half. I started helping Jessi by driving Samuel to different therapies he was involved in so she didn’t have to drag her pregnant self, or baby girl out of the house multiple days a week. I didn’t realize at the time how God was using Samuel to fill me. Each day I spent with him, my heart fell more and more in love. On the days I picked Samuel up from school, I would anxiously wait in the car until I saw his teachers marching the class outside like little toddler ducklings. I’d get out of the car and walk to the edge of the side walk where we would meet. I’d be so excited for Samuel to look up, recognize me, and smile that infamously Samuel smile. Oh that smile! It would light up his whole face, all the way to his sweet...

Recently, in a group setting, a friend shared some seriously tough things she is dealing with. At the end of her story she said, “But it’ll all be OK.” Another woman in the group replied with, “Yay, but in the meantime…” I didn’t hear how she finished. My mind instantly started thinking about the first half of her sentence. When I’m going through tough stuff I often feel it’s necessary to wrap a nice bow on my circumstances, and tell everyone that “God is good” or “I know I’ll be stronger in the end” or “It’ll all be OK one day". In actuality, sometimes there’s a very long meantime . I See You As Andy Williams sings it best, “It’s the most wonderful time of year!” But not for everyone. I see you friend who is hurting. I see you friend who is struggling with anxiety, fear, and depression. I see you friend who desperately wants to conceive. I see you friend going through a miscarriage. I see you friend whose baby should have been in your arms this holiday season. I see you ...

Well, my plan was to pick a favorite response but that proved to be much harder than I had anticipated. I loved all of them. So, I did what anyone else would do. I let the internet decide for me. I pulled up a random generator, popped in everyone’s names, and the internet chose Bethany! Congratulations, Bethany! If you send your mailing address to hello@havenpaperie.com, I’ll get your cards in the mail to you. Thank you to everyone else who shared glimpses into your hearts. I was really touched by all of your answers. Have a wonderful holiday season! Heidi Hi All! It's Abigail here. Just wanted to say THANK YOU to Heidi for the beautiful post she wrote. I know many of us were inspired, touched, encouraged, and motivated to embrace who we are as women in Christ! Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. They were a joy to read! Please tune in again tomorrow for a new 3-week series I'll be writing called, "In the Meantime".

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm so thankful Jesus gave me the courage to walk across the stage this past Sunday when fear wanted to keep me home in bed! Jesus is LIFE! He is Hope. He Heals. I'm so thankful for Jesus!

I feel like I have big shoes to fill after Abigail’s introduction! I hope I do it justice. I’m Heidi. I am a graphic designer, small business owner and a lover of travel. I am a Type A list maker. I have lived in nine states and 14 cities. I attended 11 different schools. I hate onions. I like black licorice. I love grapefruit. I have no favorite color, but my closet is organized by color. I am a left-handed introvert. I have been wracking my brain for what to write about here for weeks. I am not at the end of some grand journey where I have wisdom or some deep reflections to impart. Instead, I feel like I am in the midst of a painful and ongoing battle in multiple areas of my life. One of the most significant battles being my “woman”hood. I say womanhood with quotes because I am a 36 year old who has yet to claim herself as a “woman”. In my own mind, I am still a girl, trying to find her way into the world of women. I think a lot of this has to do with the environment I wa...

This is my dear friend, Heidi. My creative, inspiring, courageous, hilarious, generous, beautiful friend, Heidi. She's on the left. I'm on the right. We first met when volunteering at the same youth group in VA. Teens would get us confused. One girl in particular used to run up to me quite often and say, "Hey Heidi!" I can't blame her. Blondes with big teethy smiles can be confusing. Heidi is the creator and CEO of her own companies- Heth Design and Haven Paperie . I'm honored to announce she will be gracing us with her presence on the blog tomorrow. There may even be a little give away involved. ;) Come on back tomorrow- I'm excited for you to get a glimpse into her beautiful heart.

For the months of September and October, the arts ministry I'm involved with (Infused Arts) had a huge exhibit at our church. 37 visual artists and writers combined to work for six months on our individual projects wrapped around the theme of the names of God. All kinds of artists came together to collaborate, share ideas, give and receive inspiration, and most importantly, seek the Spirit. We had some powerful times of worship, prayer, encouragement, and laughter as we studied and read about the hundreds of different names of our God! Artists tend to work alone, but something amazing happened when we came together once a month to share in the love of Jesus, and create for Him. This week I am sharing the personal Psalm the Spirit put in my heart for the exhibit. It wasn't the style of writing I usually do. It wasn't my original plan. That's why I know it's His. If you find yourself in a place desiring to connect with Jesus in...

Over the summer a group of friends and I went through Kelly Minter's Bible Study, What Love is . Kelly mentioned her struggle with fear in the book, and suggested her previously written study, No Other Gods . I jumped right on it, and another friend joined in! No Other Gods is part of The Living Room Series . (Not to be mistaken with her stand alone book by the same title.) Kelly not only teaches readers how to dive deeply into Scripture, but she teaches how to do it within the context of community. Having dinner together, playing music, or lighting a candle can really set a relaxing and inviting atmosphere to the gathering. I fully believe in that concept, but at this phase of life it doesn't work too well. My friend and I consistently met up at Dunkin Donuts (free coffee every Monday if Penn State wins!), away from the baby chaos at home, and we found that environment to be just as sweet. Coffee + Donuts + Bible study = a win, win, win! ...

We've been living in our new house for over three weeks now! It was fun to be all moved just in time for Halloween. That was the day I heard the door bell ring for the first time. It had been too early in the day for Trick or Treaters, and we had friends coming over, but not for another hour. I assumed somebody was arriving early. (Can we just stop and take a minute to bemoan early arrivers ?!) Even though I wasn't ready for early guests, I gave myself a pep talk to calm down. The extra roll of toilet paper wasn't out yet in the guest bathroom- no one likes to be caught without the extra roll, the apples hadn't been sliced, Basye needed to be changed- nobody likes to arrive at a stinky diaper house, Jase needed to be changed out of his PJ's (a story for another day), and the dessert wasn't made, but I would handle those early arrivers . This all flashed through my mind in just a few seconds. As I waited at the top of the...

I had a post all lined up for today. Being that it's launch week and all, I wanted to write two posts instead of one. But, today turned out to be nothing like I expected, and thought some of you might be able to relate to the day I'm having. I would rather post the happy story already written, but in the spirit of being genuine I'll share this little tidbit instead. Today stinks. Several months ago I heard about a conference that was happening close by. I was really excited about it! I love conferences, and love hearing from ministry leaders. I was in the process of arranging a sitter so I could attend the conference (not an easy feat), when my hopes of going got shot down. At first I was angry, but then anger turned to hurt. Eventually days kept passing, a couple months went by, and I got over it. Until today. The actual day of the conference. Enter the ever-so-popular Pity Party. I woke up irritated that Chuck got to spend his whole day with friends and coworkers at...

I was sitting on our cozy, more than well-worn couch with my hands wrapped around a warm mug of coffee. The windows were open because the house was stuffy, but I found myself getting chilly by the slight Fall breeze. My friend Molly was sitting across from me on the other end of our larger than life couch. As we were discussing our Bible study lessons for that week, I blurted out, “I’m so annoyed by this author. I wish she would give us REAL LIFE examples as to what she’s talking about! Her references to her struggles are so vague.” Molly whole-heartedly agreed. As much as we were learning and growing from the study, we longed for stories that had actually happened to the author that could help us navigate through our own real lives. A few days later, my friend Lisa (who recently wrote the post, “Disease to Please”) and I were talking about the struggle of blogging. Lisa’s words echo my heart completely, “I’m still that same person that struggles with the things I’m writing about! ...

The realization of a lifelong dream starts tomorrow. My stomach is in knots. I feel giddy. I've thought of this moment long into the night, and have fallen asleep so happy at just the idea. God has given me a brand new vision for this blog. He has inspired my heart, and brought many creative people around to help on this adventure! My hands are nearly shaking as I try to grasp all God has planned.   Falling in love with Jesus is blowing.my.mind . He is opening doors, and unleashing His Spirit on me afresh. When I breathe Him in, He tastes sweet. He refreshes my lungs. He cleanses out those mundane cobwebs that have wrapped their silky webs around my mind deceiving me into believing "this is all life has to offer." There is more. So much more. I'm ready to live my dream of writing, and the moment is now.   Join me TOMORROW, November 3, as I pour the dream of my heart into the wide ocean that is the blog world.       

I would like to introduce you to my dear friend and very first guest blogger, Lisa Beavers. Lisa and I grew up in the same church community in Northeastern PA, but it took us moving out to Minneapolis in our twenties, and becoming roommates to realize we were kindred spirits. Both us of married guys in full-time ministry, and we each had our two kids just months apart from each other. Thank you Lisa for sacrificing your valuable time, and stretching your Mama mind to share these honest and vulnerable thoughts with us. Jesus' blessings all over you! I love you dearly! Not only was Lisa one of my bridesmaids, but she also played the piano and sang during our wedding! It was beautiful!   Hello readers of Abigail's blog! First I want to say that it is a true honor to be invited as a guest blogger here. This is a place where honesty is found and truth and Jesus are sought after. One of the things I admire most about Abigail is her courage to be honest about ...