Full of Joy

These three sweets are the joy of my life. Jase was dying to feed Basye her bottle the other night, and we were thrilled to let him. It was just too precious not to. This picture is my favorite one because Jase kept looking at me with this huge smile on his face as if saying, "See me Mama?!" He was so proud. I am really surprised at how aware Jase is of his baby sis already. He's just a baby himself! But already he has a tender heart towards her. He loves to kiss her, pat her, feed her, and say good-night to her. My Mom says every morning when she brings him downstairs he looks for her in her bassinet. Such sweetness. Another reason this picture is great is because of Chuck's big smile. His smile reflects the joy we both feel at seeing our babies together. We are truly blessed. 

It really surprises me at how much I slept today. I was only awake for about an hour and a half this morning before I had to lie back down. When I woke up again, it was almost 3pm. A good friend shared with me that, "sleep is one of God's greatest and most important gifts for our health." I find great comfort in that. I do believe the flu is almost all gone from my system, just waiting for this cough to pass. My biggest struggles are weakness, exhaustion, and a racing heart. All of these issues are due to my very low blood levels, coupled with the fact that I just gave birth 11 days ago, of course. I asked my Mom if she would be ready to go home this weekend and she told me she doesn't think I'm ready to be on my own. I agree with her, but just feel bad she's been "stuck" here for almost two weeks already. I wonder when I'll be able to get up and care for my babies on my own? My OB said it will take months until the levels rise, so I try not to g...

In 44 minutes I will be taking my very last dose of antibiotics. I finished my Tamiflu earlier this week, as well. I haven't had to take any cough medicine in the last day, although I still have a lingering cough from time to time. I have to keep taking iron supplements, vitamins, and probiotics but that's OK. It just feels good to be finishing medicines. Yesterday Chuck had to take Basye back to the doctor, and it turns out she has a blocked tear duct. Poor precious baby girl. =( The good news is she doesn't have to go back in for any weight checks because she's gaining beautifully! We have one great little eater on our hands. The doctor warned Chuck we shouldn't take Basye out, or have her around people for a few months because the sickness out there right now is so excessive. We already knew that as Jase has been sick almost this entire winter. Since I will probably need a few months to recover anyway, we are fine batting down the hatches and hibernating until ...

"LORD, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress." (Isaiah 33:2) Isn't this verse just beautiful? I've been having an especially weak day, so reading from Isaiah this morning was a great comfort. For me a weak day means I have little strength, my heart pounds, and I am short of breath doing very small tasks. I have been able to go downstairs a little bit and spend time with each of my babies, but it doesn't take long until I feel the need to crawl back up to bed. I know my Mom must be dying for a nap. She is taking care of both babies full time, and I know how exhausting just Jase is! He is the sweetest boy on the planet, but his energy is full-blast every moment he's awake. My Mom is sacrificing so much for my sake. She's 60 years old and still caring for her baby girl! A Mother's job is NEVER done. What would I do without my Mom? Thank you just isn't enough, but THANK YOU Mother!! W...

This man is my hero. He brings stability when so many unknowns are plaguing my mind. He brings me peace by praying over me when I'm upset. He gives me hope by sharing Scripture to ease my fears. He loses sleep by feeding Basye through the night so I can get my rest and recover- then gets up early and goes to work. He provides for our little family of four, and never complains. He puts all of us first and doesn't even consider his own needs. He often takes on the roll of Mama when I just can't do all the things I'd like to. This man is a true MAN. He loves God, he loves me, and he loves our kids. He's the kind of husband I could not have dreamed of. God knew. God gave me this amazing gift.  I know it sounds silly, but I told my Mom today that sometimes I wish Chuck and I could go back to our newlywed days for just one day. She reminded me that we can always go away on a vacation together, and that sounds really nice to me. Hopefully someday soon we'll be a...

Today brought some high high's and some low low's. My prediction is that each day will probably be like that. I keep reminding myself, "This is just temporary." I will feel better someday. I will. Sometimes I wonder if people will stop praying for us because we're out of the hospital. But then each day God has sent at least one friend to remind me people are still praying- and we are so very grateful!  Thankfully Jase finds my mask funny. I'm so glad it doesn't scare him or anything.  Beautiful sweetheart with eyes open! 

God really blessed me with a beautiful labor and delivery! I had been terrified going into it, as giving birth to Jase was a little bit like dying. I could not believe the difference this time around! I actually had a lot of FUN delivering Basye. My OB and the nurses were just fabulous! I loved them! God was so gracious to me. Here is a picture of the first time I got to hold my daughter (besides when she was all mucky straight from the womb when they first laid her on my chest). I was also able to take a couple pictures of Chuck with her, too. Right after these pictures were taken is when things started to go down hill fast... Then the scenario pretty much looked like this. I didn't even know Chuck took this picture! He actually took a lot of pictures I wasn't aware of. At the time I probably would have told him not to take any pictures, but looking back I'm so glad he did. Today is the first time I have looked through our pictures, and even though I feel sa...

Little Peanut slept great last night! A big praise to God because the night before she never slept, which meant my Mom hadn't slept and Chuck hadn't gotten much sleep. Last night she gave them a few hours of sleep between bottles which was a great blessing. A friend brought us a meal last night which was another great blessing! We are so grateful for the generosity and love of such faithful friends. Another praise is that I struggled with a pretty bad headache yesterday and last night. After trying several different meds, I finally tried some medicine I had taken after Jase was born and my headache was finally kicked earlier this morning. Trusting God for a great report after the babies see their doctor later today.

Today I was able to go downstairs and visit Little Miss. My Mom was feeding her, and as soon as I started talking to Basye she turned her head and looked right at me. Even though I had a mask on, she knew my voice! She knew me! I almost burst into tears. I treasure the memory of that moment. Later while Jase was napping I went downstairs again to chat with my Mom. I got to watch her care for Basye and it was so special to just be able to SEE my daughter in person. It was a joy to watch her get her tiny, little diaper changed. I got to hear her darling hiccups and dainty newborn sneezes. I even enjoy hearing her cry because I didn't get to hear her at all while we were in the hospital. She is too precious for words. It's also been a joy to hear Jase laughing and jabbering on downstairs. I am dying to kiss his face and squeeze him like crazy. I find comfort in the fact that each day I am closer and closer to getting better and to being able to cradle my loves again.

I'm typing this from our amazing bed! From our own amazing home! And I just ate an amazing home-cooked meal. There is NO place like home. We chose Jane as Basye's middle name after my own Mama, but also because it means, "God is gracious". That is the resounding theme in my heart tonight. GOD IS GRACIOUS!  To quickly answer some questions:  YES, we are home!  NO, I am still not allowed to hold my baby girl, but hopefully very soon. I am quarantined to our room, which is far FAR better than the hospital! We are manned here with gloves and masks. I could NOT resist squeezing my baby boy when we got home. He had already been around me all last week while I was sick, so I figured it would be OK for me to squeeze him with gloves and a mask on. I can't even explain how good it was for my soul to be able to bond with Jase in that small way. The smile on his face when he saw me was the most incredible gift. I HATED going upstairs and leaving my two preshies do...

How SWEET is this note?! Just about the sweetest thing ever. The staff here is too wonderful! My blood tests came back and my numbers went up! Praising the Lord! The blood count for an average person should be between 12-14. I am at a 7.8. That's still not good, but we are thanking God for the slooooooow increase. It shows I don't have internal bleeding. Always a great thing! There are many factors going on with me physically. Basically it's my low blood count which is causing a bunch of issues (racing heart, weakness, faintness, fatigue, shivering, shortness of breath, etc.) combined with the flu virus. All in all I have a long recovery ahead of me, but today I am counting my blessings. The numbers went up and we're closer to going home all together as a family! Thank you for your continued prayers for all of us. We just LOVE your messages, texts, emails, voicemails, and love!

Fading quickly, ready for a nap, but praising God for good news today. Basye is doing beautifully! She is healthy and content, and I am so blessed to be able to watch her on camera. Thank you Jesus! A woman from the Infectious Disease Unit came in to talk with us today and I am allowed to be reunited with my girl tomorrow night after 8pm! CAN NOT WAIT! Thank you Jesus! My Dad got to snuggle with Basye this morning, and my Mom will get to tonight! Thank you Jesus! As for what's going on with my health, my doctor came in and explained things in a way that made a lot of sense. Thank you Jesus! But I still have another blood test coming where they really hope to see my numbers improving or at least staying the same. If they drop at all, that will warrant a whole new round of tests. I am praying that's not the case! Will you pray with us about this? I never imagined needing blood before, and this experience has made me very grateful for those who donate blood. THANK YOU Do...

Thank you for your prayers! So much. I have been feeling the presence of Jesus through your prayers, verses, words of encouragement, and your love. You are His hands and feet. Some very sweet angels on the hospital staff here worked hard to set up a camera just so I could feel connected to our girl. It was a huge, total surprise to me and means more than I can express adequately. She's being very well-monitored, very well taken care of, and we are very grateful. My heart melts watching her on this screen.

I am currently sitting alone in my hospital bed sobbing my eyes out.  There is so much happening all at once and it all feels like it's just caving in on my soul. My Mother's heart can hardly bear this. I've been texting with my own Mom and she is wisely telling me to trust God, and I told her I want to but I'm so afraid. She reminded me that's why  I need the  prayer of others . Will you lift us up? I'm sorry for those of you who have not heard our sweet and precious daughter, Basye Jane was born yesterday, January 18. My heart has wanted to burst with all my friends and family over her arrival, I've been flat in bed almost the entire time since she came into this world, and have barely been able to hold her. I lost a lot of blood, had a blood transfusion, and have been telling every nurse and doctor that I was really sick before I went into labor, and still feel unusually weak. My doctor came into see me and talk with me this afternoon. She said she ...

Please welcome Basye Jane Dubbe! Chuck and I are honored to share with you that our "Daughter of Yahweh, God is Gracious" has arrived! Basye Jane (pronounced "BAY-SEE", and Jane after my Mama!) was born at 2:17pm, January 18, 2015. She was 8 lbs. 8.8 oz. and 19". Several years ago we met a very sweet girl named Basye who was visiting the RBC youth group. Basye and her brother were both very friendly, and had even spent some time living in Germany, so they had a fun connection with Chuck. We loved Basye's name right away and found out she was named after a town in Virginia. As it turns out, anytime we visited Chuck's family in Elkton, VA we would drive right by the exit for Basye, VA. We also looked up the meaning, and what makes the name even more special is that it's actually a Hebrew name meaning, "Daughter of Yaweh/The Lord". We can't think of a better blessing over our daughter! It brings us great peace to know that our c...

There is nothing sacred, private, or personal about having a baby. All dignity is stripped and that's just the way it is. In saying that, I do try to keep things about my pregnancy and how I'm feeling and doing somewhat reserved. I really wrestle with the negative emotions and thoughts I have about where I'm at, and never want to communicate a bad attitude to others. It's just not attractive. I in no way desire to be fake, but just desire to keep things personal.  That being said, inquiring minds have been asking and I'm happy to share. I really need prayer.  So I thank you in advance for anyone who will pray! A big thing right now is that I have some sort of cold including a cough, chest congestion, and body aches. I am also dealing with stomach issues- never fun.  I had an OB appointment this morning and my cervix was checked. I'm barely 1 cm dilated- she couldn't even find my cervix at first. Lame. She did strip some membranes (that was a blast) in an...

Jase has been blessed with some pretty wonderful baby-sitters. One of them, Hannah, got married last weekend and Jase was in her wedding. We were REALLY honored she asked him. It's just such a wonderful feeling to watch someone else love my child so much. She is seriously crazy about our guy, and it makes my heart full. It was a lot of fun to prepare for his big debut as a ring bearer. Thankfully my sister-in-law has given me a ton of clothes handed down from my nephews, so we were set with options for him to wear. Hannah picked out her favorite outfit for him, and my Mom got Jase shoes for Christmas. It was a lot of work to get our little guy to be ready. Chuck and I were pretty nervous about him making it down the aisle without causing a ruckus. I prayed a whole lot, and God worked it out perfectly. Hannah's younger brother walked Jase down the beautiful aisle. It went so well! Neither Chuck nor I really got to see him because I was holding him at the back of the sanctuar...

Here is the family picture my cousin took on Christmas day. She does such a great job!

I mentioned this before, but Beth Moore has launched a fabulous program for Scripture Memory starting TODAY! All you have to do to register is pick your first verse, and use that as your comment on the post here . Chuck is doing it with me, and I'm really excited to have this discipline as part of our routine this year. Happy memorizing! And Happy New Year!