Full of Joy

so i've been knocked out twice in the past week. that can't be good for me. i'm still arguing in my mind whether i was really knocked or, or not- but the fact that my memory is non-existant during both episodes, leads me to believe i blacked out for a second or two. it doesn't really matter if i was conscience the whole time or not. the point is, i've been knocked down to the ground twice as of late! what the heck? exhibit A- a football game, touch football mind you. i was instructed by the QB (the names are being left out to protect the identities of the individuals at fault) to yell "blitz!" and charge the opponent. so, as a good little team member, i set myself to charge the guy- hear "hike!" and i run- full force- towards him. per instructions i also yelled, "bli...." and the next thing i know my body is pumled (this is the part i can't recall!)- and all of the sudden i am laying FLAT on my back in the dirt. the weird t...

i woke up this morning completely hungry to feast on anything God had to tell me! i keep a Bible next to my bed, with a journal of course, and so i rolled over, grabbed my Bible and just opened it up- the pages fell open to the amazing book of Titus. i just poured over what Titus was telling me, as a woman. it's pretty concise, clear, and something God wanted to tell me. i loved every minute of it. there i was, all cozy in my bed, the warm spring sun shining through my window and God speaking His Words of Truth over me. if you hadn't known my struggles for the past little while, then this wouldn't mean much to you. but, coming from a place of a cold, yet desert heart, this morning felt like a major milestone. God can break down walls, He can warm hearts- and He is softening mine. it feels good. really good to be in a place where God is speaking to my heart, i am listening, and something is going to happen... it feels really good to soak in the rays of His love, when...

i had to say good-bye to a friend this week. it was downrighht sad. i abhor saying "good-bye" to people. usually, i avoid it like the plague. i somehow manuever my schedule so that "i didn't get to say good-bye"! it's awkward. there are no words to say, and it's a miserable time. this week- i had to face the inevitable- the good-bye. as always, i felt like an idiot standing there, feeling sad, excited for him, but bummed for me...and there just wasn't anything left to say. i knew he was coming in for the last time, and i kept thinking about it. my stomach started to hurt, and i got all shaky. i'm a dork, but i feel for people. he's meant a lot to me, and how do you sum it all up during that one moment of good-bye? well, you don't. i, in turn, do not actually say "good-bye" to people, but rather, "see ya later!". so- see ya later friend! until next time...

i made it up to 5 miles today! i can hardly believe it. all my life i have stated that, "i am not a runner", but i just proved myself wrong today. and actually, i've been proving myself wrong for the past several months. running does not come naturally to me- but i am learning to love it, and i am getting better and better every week! i could have kept going today, my body felt great! wow- i am just amazed at my body's abilities! i have a feeling my mom was praying for me- and God worked! i had an awesome run, and i am in awe of His power in creation of human beings! a lot can happen when you have self-discipline, self-control, and work hard! it's truly amazing...

when i was in 4th grade, i played the recorder. i wore braces because i had a wicked bad snaggle tooth. i don't actually like plain, black coffee- even though i am a coffee master. (lots of flavored cream, please!) my weaknesses are: chocolate, cookies, and pizza i am becoming a morning person, i actually enjoy getting up early (so i can have the whole day!). i am afraid of living life alone. i am afraid of growing old and dying alone with no husband and no children. i have always wanted a professional massage. i used to live outside when i was little: climbing trees, swimming, riding my bike, and i LOVED roller skating. i hated when my mom told me to wear a little blush when i was in a wedding once. i did not want to grow up- i hated anything that had to do with "becoming a woman". i crashed a mo-ped with my best friend on the back- we both got really bad scrapes. i am afraid of not being loved for who i am. i have always wanted to live in the south, and almost did- twi...

tonight was my first ever "perfomance/reading" of a piece of my writing. i was pretty dang nervous to get up in front of a public audience, and essentially bare my soul to them. when i write, i spill my heart on the page, and to share that with the world is down right scary. so there i was, up at the podium, bright lights shining in my eyes, and i could feel myself grinning at what i wrote. i was so happy to be sharing my love- my passion- with people who want to listen! astonishing! i had an entire row of friends cheering me on. thank you, friends. to all of you special ones in my life: thank you to :swzy, boogsie, chuck, lisa, heidi, and dan. it meant the world to me to have an entire row of people who love me supporting me as i shared my heart. i had the most fans, i'm proud to say! you all came, and i am so touched. thank you and thank you! a cute older man from my class read tonight, too. he made sure to introduce me to his wife- it was adorable! i then...

i barely even know what day it is. my week has been a blur. on tuesday morning, at 8:30 am (God's first, of many, blessings to come- i thank Him i wasn't opening that morning!) i waltzed out to my prized, sweet little red jeep liberty. i opened the door to get in, and i saw a book of cd's and a cd case on my seat. this began the confusion! i don't exactly remember how it all came together in my mind, but i noticed the glove box was open, papers were strone about, and i kept thinking, "why are all these things out of place?" if you know me at all- you know that my car is always neat, and everything has its place. then all at once, i noticed my back seat (above) and the pile of glass. that really confused me...until i looked up, and saw the shattered window (below). if you look closely, you can see that the window is spidered all the way up to the top. (the entire window) that's when i whipped my head back to the front and finally began to comprehend things....