Full of Joy

I am 37 weeks today- I never made it to 38 weeks with Jase, so it'll be interesting to see what happens.  I'm so tired I can barely type, so I'll just post a few pictures from the Christmas festivities. My cousin took a picture of my entire immediate family, but I haven't gotten it yet.  It was awesome to be together for Christmas for the first time in several years! Cousins on Christmas Eve: Chail (6) holding Jase, Rocky (4) holding baby sister Ginger (almost 1). All three belong to my oldest brother and his wife. Jase opening his Pillow Pet from his Great Aunt Sharon on Christmas Eve. I love how excited Chuck is! Family of (almost) 4 on Christmas Day- with the Elf on the Shelf hanging close by. Got Jase's Christmas PJ's at a thrift store for $3- so fun! Birthday cake for Jesus- keeping up the tradition from Chuck's side of the fam.  A night at Buffalo Wild Wings to celebrate my Dad's Bday with my parents and younger brother. Goo...

I'm really thankful Jase's Pediatrician's office is open on Sunday mornings!  After chatting with a nurse on the phone Saturday afternoon, it was decided we needed to take Jase in after 5 days of struggling.  Long story short, our little guy has a double ear infection.  Yikes.  =(  No wonder he has been miserable.  Sigh.  I'm very thankful for answers!  I'm always so relieved when the doctor actually finds something instead of just saying, "He has a virus".  We were able to start him on his meds yesterday, which is great because we're supposed to be around family with other kids over Christmas.  I'm hoping by the time we get together with everybody he'll be feeling much better.  For now we continue to snuggle, watch cartoons, spoon-feed, and watch the Christmas lights.  Thank you God for answers! God has kept me pretty healthy, thankfully!  Chuck, not so much.  Poor guy is pretty miserable.  He took a sick day ...

Jase finally got better from a bout with fever and HFM virus for 10 days, only to return to the nursery for one Sunday to be plagued with yet ANOTHER illness.  The fever is back, and he is so miserable. He has some sort of cold, but the term "cold" just doesn't seem to do this illness justice.  I know he feels awful because he wants me to hold him all the time.  That's not my boy- he is an on-the-go kid, with little time for Mama snuggles.  Yesterday I was desperately trying to get him to eat something, so I held him in my lap and spoon-fed him some oatmeal while he laid his head on my chest.  Normally he wants nothing to do with anyone spoon-feeding him.  He is a man who likes to use his own fork or spoon or shove his own food into his mouth.  It's all just so sad.  And frustrating.  And stressful.  The kid is sick more than he is healthy.  That blasted church nursery.  I'm seriously considering skipping church until Jase is i...

Just a few ways God has provided for us lately: A family member got Jase a MUCH NEEDED car seat for his weight and size for Christmas!  At Thanksgiving I had said, "It would be a blessing if Jase could ride up to my parent's in a car seat that fit him."  God totally agreed. We weren't going to be able to send out Christmas pictures or cards this year, but we got a deal that included 100 picture cards and envelopes for $8!  God knows it means SO much to me to be able to send them out. We made it to pay day with one dinner to spare! After about 10 days, Jase is FINALLY fever-free! The other day was "just one of those days".  I decided not to complain to Chuck, so he had no idea how hard the day had been.  He ended up arriving home an hour early that day.  I could have collapsed with relief!  That same day I received the sweetest package from a family member all for baby girl.  It meant so much to me.  I'm always in awe how God provid...

A very sweet and generous friend gave us the gift of a maternity photo shoot.  I think I've mentioned my "Wish List for God", and having a maternity photo shoot was on that list.  It was a deep desire of mine to be able to frame an intimate picture of Baby Girl and I while I was pregnant with her ( to hang in her nursery).  If not for this fabulous gift, we would not have had these special moments captured.  In one of Jase's little Christmas books I read to him this morning, it lists a definition of blessing: "a good gift from God".  Perfect way to define this photo shoot!  On a side note:  I love having books to read to Jase that teach about the goodness of God already. Leigh Grames was an absolute gem to work with!  You can check out her beautiful website here:   http://leighgphotography.com  (SPECIAL OFFER FOR A PHOTO SHOOT WITH LEIGH AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST!) She made me feel so comfortable, which I find very important. ...

(I wrote this on Saturday, but didn't post it.  Chuck found it on the laptop and said he enjoyed it... so... thought I'd share.) Last Thursday night I attended an event called, "Celebration of the Arts".  I received the invitation through my writer's group.  We were instructed to bring a piece of our art- anything we had written- that we were proud of.  I was a little nervous since I don't feel like I have done anything substantial with my writing in a long time.  But I ended up choosing to bring the magazines containing the last two articles I had written.  When I arrived people were placing their art pieces on a display table, so I laid out the two magazines.  It was a pretty cool feeling.  There were paintings, drawings, pottery, photographs, and then my art- writing. I have thought to myself and said many times out loud over the years that I wish I had a talent.  I've always wished I had some skill I was good at.  I watch my husb...

November is such a great month for me to be reminded to have a thankful mindset.  There is always an abundance of things to be thankful for.  I've been wanting to come up with a visual way for Chuck and I to list the ways God is blessing us.  One year we had a thankfulness jar during November, and then we read all the things we had written down on Thanksgiving Day.  Since we haven't created anything yet, I decided to visually reflect through this post.  Some of these things may seem strange, but that is a wonderful benefit of having an intimate relationship with Christ.  He knows my heart, and the things that speak the loudest to me.  So here they are- blessings from God and the reasons I am thankful today: I am FREE from the burden and chains of sin because Christ paid the price for me! I truly have a fulfilling LIFE in abundance because Jesus lives in me! I know God created me uniquely special, unlike any other woman in this world. I can not fat...

Last week was so super rough.  As I was starting to feel better from the stomach virus, I got two vaccines at my OB appointment.  I have reacted (chills, aches, pains) to both vaccines in the past, so I figured it was going to be a tough weekend.  And it was.  Thankfully Chuck is Super Papa, and I was able to stay in bed for a lot of Saturday and Sunday.  I'm still really weak.  I just tried putting Jase down for an afternoon nap, but I probably tried too early- wishful thinking on my part.  So now I face the dilemma, do I let him cry it out awhile and hope he eventually wears himself out?  Or do I get him up, and start the process all over again in an hour?  My energy for the day is sapped already. I learned at my last appointment that I am in the throws of my third trimester.  Not sure how I missed that.  The contractions continue daily, and are even getting uncomfortable.  I'm waddling already, with three months to go. My ...

I came out unscathed by the colds the boys (are still) suffering with, BUT ended up with my own virus.  Seems it was created just for me and Baby Girl.  I was attacked on Saturday morning with an awful, AWFUL stomach virus.  I thought for sure I was going to end up in the hospital.  To describe the symptoms in this post would not be very courteous to you readers, so I will spare you.  Thankfully the worst seems to be behind me, I've just been weak.  Tonight I am going to try to attend my writer's group as it's our last meeting for October. (We meet for a whole month every other month.)  If I make it, it will be my first time out of the house since last Friday when I went grocery shopping.  It's really cool how God has taken care of me, and our little family during this whole ordeal. ~2 friends brought us meals on 2 different nights ~my in-laws had given us groceries the last time they visited so we were set with food ~Chuck was able to take Mo...

Hello friends!  We are bummin' today.  Chuck and Jase are both sick.  Chuck always carries on like normal when he's sick, which makes me feel bad for him.  So far I seem to be fine.  I feel lethargic, but what else is new?  I did have a strange bloody nose experience this morning, which I contribute to the pregnancy.  I don't want to gross anyone out with the details, but it was the first time that's happened to me with that amount of blood.  Moving on. The positive angle of Jase being sick is that he slept until almost 8:15 this morning, took a morning nap, and is now taking an afternoon nap.  He is also a little more clingy than normal, which I cherish because he's usually an independent little thing.  And if Chuck is home, forget about Mama.  The boy is ALL ABOUT his Papa.  He says, "Papa, Papa, Papa" a million times a day.  Hopefully those two will keep their germs to themselves.  I am already exhausted, achey, le...

Believe it or not, these are the best cousin pictures I could get the last time the boys were all together a few weeks ago.  We had a lovely little visit to the Dubbe family farm house in VA.  The boys are so sweet with Jase.  They definitely keep him entertained, which is awesome for us.  They also wanted to celebrate Jase's birthday again- with a darling gift as well as a crazy, multi-colored cake!

I keep a book journal.  This means I write down the title of every book I read, some information about it,  the date I finished it, and my opinion of said book.  Some years I am amazed at how many books I've read, but others years I am dismayed at how few books I've read.  Of course since January of this year I haven't got a whole long list going.  But, I am happy that I've had the chance to read some good ones. The one I flew through the fastest was Francine Rivers' newest book, "Bridge to Haven".  I could only keep it checked out of the library for two weeks, and it was a huge book.  I told the lady at the desk I probably wouldn't be able to finish the book in two weeks, but it was easy actually.  I could hardly put it down.  I stayed up late reading, went to bed "early" so I could read in bed, read it during TV commercials, etc.  I never do that with a slow book. I do have to say I finally read, "The Fault in Our Stars" by Jo...

I got to go back to the beach in September?  And that I went all by myself?  Well, I did!  The girls on my Mom's side of the family got together at the Jersey Shore to celebrate my aunt's 50th birthday (a little late), and as a reunion of sorts.  We stayed in such a great place!  It was a condo, I think, but big enough that we all slept comfortably.  My cousin and I shared a room, just like old times.  It was a lot of fun!  Us cousins are in the middle with Grandma and Aunt Keren on the ends. While I was at the beach, Chuck took Jase to VA where my in-laws baby-sat for the week.  Chuck was able to take his sabbatical while there, which was really perfect.  It was so wonderful to sit and chat with no interruptions.  It was also amazing to stay up late, and sleep in till whenever I woke up!  We went out to eat a few times, and here is our group picture after brunch one morning.  As you can see, it was a gorgeous day, wo...

I spent the last 30 minutes thinking I was uploading pictures from our camera.  I wanted to do this task all by myself, but of course it didn't work.  Now I will have to wait until tonight so Chuck can show me what I did wrong.  I can't stand this computer. On the bright side, I did find a new album from my Mom's camera- even though the pictures were taken in July.  When I look through these pictures I am reminded of how much of a baby Jase was just three months ago.  He is so different now! The best cousin beach picture we got! My Mom took this picture.  She was laughing at how distracted and busy us  Mothers were when we were supposed to be enjoying a nice dinner out.  =) This kind of feels like our family ferris wheel.   Jase just loved this tiny Golden book.  He looks so chubby here to me.  Sweet boy.

Last Thursday night I attended my first night of a new writer's group.  I was pretty nervous about going.  The naturally shy part of me really wanted a friend to go with.  But I had to put on my brave hat, and venture out by myself.  Before I left, I shared with Chuck that I didn't even know if I had a writer in me anymore.  I wasn't sure if there were any creative synapses left firing up there.  I haven't been apart of an official writing class or group for a few years.  After my grad class, I felt extremely burned out. When I arrived at the group last Thursday, the leader greeted me immediately and I felt instantly at ease.  She even walked me to the right meeting room.  Describing it makes me feel like I was starting kindergarten, but really aren't we all just little kids inside?  We all still have the innate need for another human to welcome us, be friendly to us, and make us feel connected. The writer's group was only an hour an...

This morning my heart is heavy for several friends in my life who are suffering.  A heavy heart leads me to pray, and I know prayer is the main way I can minister to these hurting women. I also have a heavy heart because Chuck and I experienced a really intense, emotional battle with some people recently.  I still feel upset and gross inside over some of the interactions.  Though forgiveness from all sides has taken place, I still have a million thoughts rolling around in my heart.  It's nice when one battle is over, but the war continues to rage, ya know?  And even when forgiveness has happened over hurts, the scabs are still fresh and the scars will always be there.  I asked Chuck the other night in bed, "Why is life so hard?"  I didn't want an answer then, and I don't need an answer now. The great apostle Paul has said it best, I believe.  Three things remain:  faith, hope, and love.  Faith:  one step at a time.  Hope: ...

Tomorrow my baby turns 1!  We have a busy, crazy, and fun several days ahead so I don't think I'll have time to write.  This picture was taken right after the nurses brought him to our regular room the day he was born.  He looks so little, so tiny, so helpless.  And he was.  He still is, but after only one year, he can do so much on his own.  I love looking at his precious face here.  And his little hand.  It just melts my heart all over again to gaze at his newborn sweetness. Both of these pictures are of the first time we got to hold our son.  What a joyous day!  And tomorrow I can not wait to celebrate his one year of life!   Our first family photo.  I'm not sure when exactly "Weeda Bon" became Jase's #1 nickname from me, but it stems from "Little honey bun" (I think!).  Now my little bun is courageous, determined, hard-working, sweet, loving, tough, smart, and happy!  Here he is most r...

 This is one of the very first pictures we got of Jase smiling.  It brings tears to my eyes to think of how much he's grown.  I wrote in my journal today that "Chuck and I are so proud of Jase just because he's who God made him to be."  I'm so privileged to get to watch this guy grow right before my eyes every single day. Here's that sweet smile as he's "all grown up".  ;) I have been feeling super emotional the last couple of weeks as Jase heads into his very first birthday.  Thank God for this little miracle!  Since this is Labor Day weekend, my mind is often filled with thoughts of last year at this time.  I went into labor on Labor Day.  I'm still doubting the Bible when it says women forget the pains of child birth! Seriously?!  I have not forgotten.  But I do celebrate, and I can't wait to show this baby how birthdays are done in the Dubbe home! Someone recently said to Chuck, "It's really special to have a firs...

This is my whole immediate family, except my younger brother who was looking at records when we  found someone to take this. (Sorry Cakes!) My Mama and me. Here's my Dad! My SIL, who has been in my life since I was 10!  There's my younger brother with the nephews!  And my older brother with sweet lil G. 

My sweet, favorite little niece!  Does it get any better than cotton candy? "Come on!  Take a picture with Auntie!" Attempting to get three boys to take a picture... The best we could get- I love these boys! Precious guy.  Miss them all!

I just went grocery shopping:  I LOVE having fresh, new food items filling the fridge and pantry.  It's such a good feeling.  Mmmm.  Especially the fresh fruit.  I am a fruit maniac right now.  I just can't get enough of it.  Moving on, this post has nothing else to do with groceries.   My side of the family goes to the beach every other year.  It's a wonderful tradition, and some years it's the only time I see my older brother and his family.  This year was very different for us.  My Mom and I ended up referring to the trip as "family time", not so much vacation.  Taking babies to the beach is a lot of work! Next time we go Jase will be two, and Baby Dubbe will be one.  (That is NUTS!) Haha!  Here are some pictures of our special (albeit crazy ) time together back in early July. That's all I have time for today.  More to come!

Since Chuck has today off, we've used a good chunk of the morning to sort through our million photos, got them organized on his laptop, and basically just got on the same page.  These two pictures are my trial run on the blog.  I'm sure when I try to do this while he's at work, something will go wrong.  That's just how computers and I work.  I'm a total pro on the PC, but working on the Mac is really frustrating.   Here are two pictures from a girl's weekend I went on back in June.  Sickness and nausea were at their peak for those couple of days so I didn't really take many pictures.  But, the first picture is the view out of our hotel window.  We stayed in Atlantic City one night, and went to the beach the next day.  The second picture was taken right when we got into our room.   These friends and I all met in college, and lived together for most of the four years.  Since graduation in 2004, we've gotten together almost ev...