Full of Joy

i saw my first starbucks christmas commercial tonight. i know i am supposed to be ultra loyal, and i totally am...but i have to admit, the commercial was a bit lame. a girl hugs a bear..."peppermint white mocha" (which happends to be an excellent beverage) comes up...they remind us to "pass the cheer" and then it's done. hhhmm...for all the money they spent doing that, i honestly expected just a bit more then that...

i walked in the door the other night to find the tv shoved into the middle of the room. swz was shoved in the corner, tanlged up in all kinds of cords. the sounds of angry comments, accompanied by angry growls filled the air. "what'cha doin' back there?" i asked. "i'm so done with only 4 stations. all i want to do is watch a freaking football game on 45." a few minutes later i hear her on the phone with her grandma. she was looking for some sordof electronic doo-dad that she thought for sure would re-instate the 3 channels we lost when we got the new tv. you see, we used to have 7 channels total- not anymore. grandma was no help. me: "did you check under the futon?" badda-bing! the doo-dad was found. i was the hero! at this point, i left for the evening. upon my return, i cautiously asked, "did you get back the channels?" to which swz replied: "yes i did." me: "really?!" the cable arrives thursday.

there was a farmer who had a dog, and bingo was his name-o. pretty sure i played bingo tonight. like the real deal bingo. it really exists. i am now the proud new owner of a dabbin' fever dotter. i totally played B-I-N-G-O tonight.

i have this enormous craving for pumpkin pie. no joke. i was grocery shopping tonight...only had to get 2 things. i left with two bags full! anyway, i was totally smacked in the face every aisle my cart turned down with thanksgiving. i could't help it! this craving for pumpkin pie just engulfed me. i was over in the bakery section and i saw the pp on sale! but i didn't want, and certainly didn't need an entire pp! i looked for half pies, but they only came in the fruit kind. that would just not do. i wanted pumpkin! so i thought to myself, i have my "special" ice cream in the freezer right now, and how perfect would that go with a nice, big piece of pp? hhhmmm...but they only came in full pie form! too much for me. i just wanted a mere slice. i thought, maybe i should just stop at baker's square. no- too much of a hassle for a dumb piece of pie. but it's thanksgiving week, and i really want it now! so that's when it came to me. this glorious realizatio...

these things are never expected. never imagined. i was standing in my lil kitchen, fixing myself some supper. it was beenies and weenies night, and i was quite looking forward to sitting down, finishing a movie, eating my yummy food, and just resting. i had several burners of my stove going when out of nowhere i hear this odd, sordof mini-explosion. i glanced out my living room window and sweet mercy! what did i see? but a FIRE blazing right outside! i rushed to the blinds and pushed them back to get a better view. craziness! the dumpster, directly outside my window was up in flames! fire was just shooting wildly out the top. i starred at it for a second and then grabbed my phone. i thought i should call 911, but then i wasn't sure. every time i've had to call 911, i always debate first. i never want to bother them with something that really isn't an emergency. i looked again at the fire, and thought, "well, the flames are shooting out...." i dialed....

any empty pizza box. the case for "you've got mail" laying on the floor. empty coffee mugs. movie ticket stubs in my purse. my new white coat with new coffee stains strewn on the coach. a wallet on the counter. a precious new christmas ornament. an empty can of livewire mountain dew. an empty baby can of a & w's root beer. i love getting up in the morning and seeing different objects around that speak of the evening from the night before. i love nights like last night. the movies with two close friends- martian child. sooooo good. then coming home and just bein ' in my sweats and tank top. i made a comment to swz that it wasn't fair because someday it was gonna be her, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend watching football while i slept on the couch. i told her it was a lose, lose, lose situation for me. she smiled and said, "no. you win because you'd have a boyfriend." ah. true. well, truth be told. i love saturday nights in ...

i am so beyond excited for christmas i can hardly handle it! it is starbucks christmas eve! tomorrow morning, i will arrive at 6:28 am to a magical, christmas wonderland! the mall christmas lights are lit all day now, and the ginormous wreaths with lights are hung, too! i will arrive a couple moments before mike, and gaze giddily through the windows, soaking in all the new cheer. there will be posters and pictures and reds and whites and mugs and christmas blend at every turn and ornaments and decorations and signs. there will be red cups in all shapes and sizes. there will be christmas small handle bags and christmas pastry bags. (these people don't miss a thing!) the dorothy ruby red shoes trays will be ready for me to display all the new holiday pastries! THEN, in our red tshirts, mike and i will enter the magical wonderland and i will just soak it all in! i will head straight to the back and turn on the new christmas music! i will set up the pastries and breathe in the...

Full House: the complete series came out today, for the first time. oh my word. it's actually on sale at best buy. sigh. the COMPLETE series.

i'm a big girl. i don't know when it happened, but here i am. adult. on my own. independant. i am 25 years old. looks pretty young on paper, but i feel sometimes as if my life is passing me by while i chill on the sidelines. when i consider it logically- no. absolutely i am being proactive about certain parts of me. my heart is engaged, and my heart loves- oh deeply loves the people around me, and then there's the God of my life. *smile* that phrase just makes me smile. i came across this psalm today- 42:8. by day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me- a prayer to the God of my life . saying the God of my life makes me feel possessive, a bit shy, proud, and it proves that i am in love with Him. i really am. the hard part is trying to grasp this love of His for me. it should be easy to believe in. it should be easy to accept. i have always been an easy lover. i just love people, things, activities, foods, colors, quirks, music...it's nat...

"you know what you're supposed to do- you don't like quitting because you're afraid of the unknown." yes. i am afraid of the unknown. where does my responsibility lie? (lay? whatever. i hate grammar.) do i quit something that drains my soul? OR do i act responsibly and do what i need to do to pay the bills- even though i am betraying myself, my very soul, my heart? i am in quite a bit of debt. i feel i am left with no choice at all. how long? how long must i agonize over what is my life? how long must i WAIT? i have become quite good at pretending. mostly to convince myself that i can CHOOSE to be happy. no matter my circumstances, i can make the choice to be happy- even if i'm not doing what i want to do. but, what is that anyway? i have been hurt. not hurt in a major, huge, out-of-commission way. but, hurt none the less. i have been dragging around this burden for what feels like weeks and weeks. it has affected me more then i choose to admit. at th...

Realize Take time to realize, That your warmth is. Crashing down on in. Take time to realize, That I am on your side Didn't I, Didn't I tell you. But I can't spell it out for you, No it's never gonna be that simple No I cant spell it out for you If you just realize what I just realized, Then we'd be perfect for each other and will never find another Just realized what I just realized we'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now. Take time to realize I'm on your side didn't I, didn't I tell you. Take time to realize This all can pass you by.. Didn't I tell you But I can't spell it out for you, no its never gonna be that simple no I can't spell it out for you. It's not always the same no it's never the same if you don't feel it too. If you meet me half way If you would meet me half way. It could be the same for you. ~colbie caillat colbie ROCKS.